Being a good person isn’t just about what you say or do, it’s also about how you present yourself.
Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a passionate advocate for mindfulness.
One aspect of mindfulness is understanding how our body language subtly communicates our character to others.
In this piece, I’ll be sharing a few simple, yet powerful body language gestures that can silently broadcast your goodwill to those around you.
These are gestures that can make you come across as more approachable, trustworthy and kind-hearted.
Let’s take a look at how we can use body language to our advantage in portraying the best version of ourselves.
1) Eye contact
In almost all cultures, eye contact is a clear sign of engagement and interest.
As a mindfulness enthusiast, I’ve learned that when we make genuine eye contact with someone, it’s like saying, ‘I see you and I’m here for you’.
It’s a powerful way to create a connection without uttering a single word.
But there’s a fine line to walk. Too much can feel intimidating or intrusive, too little can make you seem disinterested or aloof.
The key is finding the right balance that shows you’re present and interested but also respectful of the other person’s space.
Regular, warm eye contact can make others feel valued and understood.
It subtly communicates that you’re a good listener and someone who values others.
2) Open posture
Posture speaks volumes about our mindset and character.
I remember a few years ago when I was at a business conference.
I noticed a man who seemed to draw people in effortlessly.
He wasn’t the loudest or the most charismatic person in the room, but he had an aura of positivity that was hard to miss.
Upon closer observation, I realized a lot of it came down to his body language, particularly his posture.
He stood tall with his shoulders relaxed and back, and his arms were usually open or at his sides rather than crossed.
His body language was basically screaming, “I’m open, approachable and non-threatening.”
The power of an open posture is something that’s stuck with me since that day.
It’s a simple yet profound way of silently communicating that you’re a friendly and welcoming person.
And it’s not just about standing straight.
It’s also about making sure your body language isn’t closed-off or defensive (like crossed arms or hunched shoulders).
These subtle cues can make a world of difference in how people perceive you.
As they say, actions speak louder than words, and your posture is one of those silent actions.
3) Mirroring
Mirroring, or subtly copying the body language of the person you’re interacting with, is a powerful way to build rapport and make you seem like a good person.
It sends a silent message to the other person that you’re on the same page, that you understand them and are in tune with their feelings and thoughts.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I talk more about how the concept of mirroring plays a significant role in Buddhist teachings on empathy and compassion.
This doesn’t mean you should blatantly mimic every gesture or movement of the other person.
That can come off as insincere or even creepy.
Instead, it’s about subtly reflecting their body language to create a feeling of mutual understanding and connection.
For example, if they lean in while talking, you might lean in too.
Or if they use certain hand gestures while speaking, you might use similar ones.
This can make the other person feel more understood and comfortable around you.
So let’s use mirroring to radiate positivity and goodness to those around us.
4) Smiling
It might seem obvious, but the power of a genuine smile can’t be understated.
Psychologically, smiling is a universally recognized sign of happiness and positivity.
It’s an action that not only makes us appear friendly and approachable but also has the power to influence the mood of those around us.
Research shows that our brains are wired to react positively to smiles, releasing chemicals like dopamine and serotonin that induce feelings of happiness and relaxation.
This means that when you smile at someone, you’re not just showing them you’re a good person – you’re actually making them feel better too.
But remember, authenticity is key.
A genuine smile – one that reaches your eyes – can make you seem warm and trustworthy.
On the other hand, a forced or fake smile can have the opposite effect.
Let your happiness shine through your smiles and spread positivity around you.
5) Nodding
It’s easy to dismiss nodding as a simple acknowledgment gesture, but it’s much more than that.
It’s a powerful tool for expressing agreement, understanding, and empathy.
When you nod while listening to someone, it shows that you are actively engaged and interested in what they’re saying.
It signals that you are following along with their thoughts and emotions.
But here’s where it gets counter-intuitive: even if you don’t agree with what the other person is saying, a slight nod can still make you come across as a good person.
This isn’t about being dishonest or manipulative – it’s about showing respect for the other person’s viewpoint and maintaining a positive interaction.
Nodding doesn’t necessarily mean agreement, it can simply mean “I hear you, I respect your perspective”.
This subtle gesture goes a long way in making others feel heard and respected which in turn paints you as a considerate and good person.
6) Touch
Touch is a powerful, yet often overlooked, aspect of body language.
When used appropriately, it can communicate warmth, understanding, and compassion.
A reassuring touch on the arm, a firm handshake, or a friendly pat on the back can make you seem like a good person by showing that you care and are there to support others.
It’s important to note that touch should always be respectful and appropriate for the relationship and situation.
It should never make someone else feel uncomfortable.
Touch can be a silent way of saying “I’m here for you” or “I understand”, which can make others feel valued and cared for.
7) Lowering your voice
Often in my early days of public speaking, I would get feedback that I sounded too excited or nervous, which could be off-putting for some.
Over time, I learned the importance of moderating my voice – not just the volume, but also the pitch and speed.
Speaking in a calm, steady tone can convey confidence, trustworthiness, and approachability.
It can also make others feel more at ease and comfortable around you.
On the other hand, a high-pitched or fast-paced voice can be perceived as a sign of nervousness or impatience.
By controlling your voice and keeping it steady and calm, you can effectively communicate that you’re someone who is patient, considerate, and trustworthy.
Famed psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
Your voice tone can significantly impact this transformative interaction. So let’s use it wisely to leave a lasting impression.
8) Leaning in
Leaning in during conversations is a subtle body language gesture that can make a significant impact on how you’re perceived.
When you lean in slightly while someone else is talking, it shows that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.
It’s a non-verbal way of saying, “I’m engaged, I’m listening, and I value your opinion.”
The key word here is ‘slightly’.
Leaning in too much can invade the other person’s personal space and make them uncomfortable, which isn’t the impression we’re trying to create.
Maintaining an appropriate distance while subtly leaning in can make others feel important and respected.
It’s one of those small things that can enhance your image as a good person in the eyes of others.
By leaning in, we’re setting aside judgments and showing our willingness to understand and connect.
Wrapping it up: More than meets the eye
When it comes to human interaction, there’s so much more happening beneath the surface than we often realize.
Our body language is a silent yet powerful communicator, shaping others’ perception of us in subtle and profound ways.
These gestures – a genuine smile, a nod, an open posture – can silently broadcast our goodwill to others, painting us as good and kind individuals.
They’re simple actions, but their impact can be immense.
In my book “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve deeper into how mindfulness can help us become more self-aware, not just of our thoughts and emotions, but also our body language.
It’s about understanding the subtle signals we send out and how they shape our relationships and interactions.
Ultimately, being perceived as a good person isn’t just about acting in a certain way.
It’s about aligning our actions with our authentic selves.
It’s about expressing our innate kindness and empathy through our words, actions, and yes – even through our body language.
So as we journey on this path of self-improvement, let’s remember that it’s not just about what we say or do.
It’s also about how we say it and how we do it.
Because sometimes, the smallest gestures can make the biggest impact.