9 signs someone in your life isn’t actually a good person, according to psychology

As individuals, we all crave connection, affirmation, and healthy relationships.

However, not everyone we encounter in our lives contributes to these positive experiences.

Recognizing the true nature of people in our lives is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and emotional well-being.

According to psychology, certain behaviors and traits can indicate that someone may not have your best interests at heart, even if they present themselves as friendly or supportive.

In this article, I’m going to share with you some of these indicators—we’ll explore nine signs that someone in your life might not be a good person.

Keep reading to learn how to identify these signs and protect your well-being from such individuals!

1) Lack of empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a crucial trait of a ‘good’ person. It’s what enables us to connect with others on a deeper level.

However, not everyone possesses this important attribute. Some individuals may exhibit a consistent lack of empathy, which can manifest in various ways.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that someone in your life rarely shows concern for your feelings or struggles. They might dismiss your experiences or show indifference when you’re going through a tough time.

In some cases, they might even exploit your vulnerabilities for their own gain or amusement.

This lack of empathy is not just a sign of emotional immaturity but also a clear indicator that the person may not be as ‘good’ as they seem.

A person who lacks empathy can be draining and damaging to your emotional well-being.

2) Constant criticism

We all have our flaws and areas we can improve. Constructive criticism from a well-meaning friend or family member can be valuable for personal growth.

But when someone constantly criticizes you, it can be a sign of a deeper problem.

You might notice they always find something wrong with what you do, no matter how trivial. Maybe they belittle your achievements or put down your ideas.

Their criticism might be subtle, presented as jokes or offhand comments, making it even more damaging as it slowly erodes your self-confidence and self-worth.

This relentless negativity is not just about you; it’s a reflection of their insecurities and dissatisfaction. It’s their way of asserting control and dominance over you.

3) Excessive charm

Charm can be a delightful quality, making a person seem approachable and likable. However, when it’s excessive or seems too good to be true, that’s a red flag.

You might know someone who is extraordinarily charismatic, always saying the right things and making people feel special.

But if you look closely, this charm might be used manipulatively to win people over or distract from their less appealing qualities.

In essence, excessive charm can be a smokescreen for deceit and manipulation. It’s important to look beyond the charm and observe their actions and consistency.

4) Dishonesty

Honesty is the backbone of any meaningful relationship, whether it’s a friendship, a romantic relationship, or even a professional one. Without it, trust can easily crumble.

However, not everyone values honesty as they should. Perhaps you’ve come across someone who seems to have a flexible relationship with the truth.

They might tell white lies often, twist facts to suit their narrative, or withhold information when it suits them.

This dishonesty isn’t just damaging to your relationship with them; it’s also a significant indicator of their character.

A person who is comfortable with lying not only disrespects you but also lacks integrity.

It’s hard to confront, but recognizing and addressing dishonesty is crucial for your own peace of mind and self-respect.

5) Lack of respect for boundaries

We all have our personal boundaries, whether it’s physical space, emotional boundaries, or even time constraints. These boundaries are crucial for maintaining balance and respecting our personal needs and feelings.

However, you might encounter someone who consistently disrespects these boundaries. Maybe they invade your personal space, disregard your feelings, or demand your attention at inappropriate times.

This lack of respect for boundaries can feel invasive and exhausting. It’s important to remember that it’s not a reflection of your worth but rather their inability to respect others’ needs.

6) Always playing the victim

Life throws curveballs at all of us, and it’s natural to feel wronged or upset at times.

However, there’s a difference between experiencing a difficult situation and always playing the victim.

You might know someone who never takes responsibility for their actions. They always find someone else to blame for their failures or misfortunes, and they seem to thrive on sympathy and attention.

This constant victim mentality can be draining to deal with, as it often means you’re stuck dealing with their drama.

It’s also a sign of their inability to take personal responsibility and grow from their experiences.

7) Poor listening skills

Communication is a two-way street and listening is just as important as speaking. But have you ever tried having a conversation with someone who just won’t listen?

Perhaps they are always eagerly waiting for their turn to speak, barely paying attention to what you’re saying. Or maybe they constantly interrupt or try to steer the conversation back to themselves.

Poor listening skills might seem like a minor annoyance at first, but they can also signal a lack of respect and empathy. After all, a good person values your thoughts and feelings just as much as their own.

8) Frequent negativity

We all have bad days when we feel down or pessimistic. However, there’s a difference between having a rough day and being a habitual Negative Nancy.

Perhaps there’s someone in your life who is always complaining, criticizing, or spreading doom and gloom. Their constant negativity can be draining and can even bring down your own mood.

This habitual negativity isn’t just unpleasant; it’s also a sign of their inability to appreciate the good in life. It can be a challenge to deal with such people but remember, you don’t have to let their negativity affect you.

Life’s too short to be surrounded by constant negativity—surround yourself with positivity and don’t let anyone dim your shine!

9) Unreliable behavior

Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. To trust someone, we need to be able to rely on them, to know that they’ll keep their promises and be there when we need them.

But what if someone in your life consistently lets you down? Maybe they’re always late, cancel plans at the last minute, or simply don’t follow through on their promises.

This unreliable behavior can leave you feeling frustrated and disappointed.

Unreliability isn’t just about being disorganized or forgetful; it’s a sign of a lack of respect and consideration for others!

Reflecting on these signs

Recognizing these signs in someone can be challenging and disheartening.

This article isn’t meant to label anyone but to help you understand harmful behaviors that affect your well-being.

If you’ve noticed these signs in someone close, it might be time for an honest conversation or some distance.

It can be painful, but you deserve respect, understanding, and kindness in all relationships.

This isn’t about judging others; it’s about prioritizing your mental and emotional health.

If someone consistently impacts your well-being negatively, it’s okay to step back.

Surround yourself with positivity and respect.

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward healthier relationships—trust your instincts and take the necessary steps to protect your well-being!

Picture of Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham

Lucas Graham, based in Auckland, writes about the psychology behind everyday decisions and life choices. His perspective is grounded in the belief that understanding oneself is the key to better decision-making. Lucas’s articles are a mix of personal anecdotes and observations, offering readers relatable and down-to-earth advice.

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