9 rare traits of a really great parent, according to psychology

Parenting isn’t just ticking off a checklist of meals, bedtimes, and homework.

It’s more like planting seeds and hoping they grow into something beautiful. And while I used to think love and a few ground rules were enough, I’ve realized that the best parents don’t just talk the talk—they live it.

They teach through the small, messy, wonderful moments. Patience when the milk spills (again), respect when feelings flare up, love when nothing seems to go right.

And maybe these rare little traits turn “good” into “great.”

So, if you’re curious what those traits look like, here are 9 that might just change everything.

1) Modeling emotional intelligence

It’s often said that children are like sponges, absorbing everything around them. This couldn’t be truer when it comes to emotions.

Psychological studies show us that children learn how to handle their emotions by observing their parents. This is where the concept of emotional intelligence comes into play.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize and manage our own feelings, as well as understanding and responding appropriately to the feelings of others.

A great parent doesn’t just tell their child how to behave or react – they show them.

By demonstrating emotional intelligence in daily interactions, parents teach their children invaluable lessons about empathy, self-awareness, and emotional control.

Your child is watching and learning from you.

Make sure what they’re learning is going to help them grow into emotionally intelligent individuals.

2) Practicing patience

Parenting is a test of patience, there’s no doubt about it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to take a deep breath and count to ten.

There was this one time when my youngest, who was going through a phase of “extreme curiosity”, decided to explore the contents of my makeup bag.

I walked into the bathroom to find lipstick on the walls, mascara on the floor, and eyeshadow all over her face.

In that moment, it would have been easy to react with frustration. But psychology tells us that practicing patience in such moments is crucial in great parenting.

Instead of raising my voice, I took a few moments to gather myself.

Then, we had a calm discussion about where makeup goes and how important it is to ask before using someone else’s things.

It turned into a teachable moment rather than a heated confrontation.

Even when things get messy (literally and figuratively), remember that patience is key.

It not only helps maintain a peaceful environment but also teaches your child about self-control and respect for others’ belongings.

3) Encouraging curiosity

You might not realize it, but young children ask an average of 300 questions a day. That’s a lot of why’s, how’s, and what’s.

Great parents don’t see this as tiresome or annoying. Instead, they see it as a golden opportunity to feed their child’s curiosity and foster a love for learning.

By answering their questions, no matter how trivial they may seem, you’re helping your child make sense of the world around them.

You’re teaching them that seeking knowledge is a good thing.

Don’t know the answer? That’s okay. Use it as an opportunity to explore the topic together.

This not only satisfies their curiosity but also encourages them to be proactive about finding answers.

Every question is an opportunity to learn. Try to encourage the curiosity in your child and help them become lifelong learners.

4) Offering unconditional love

Love seems like an obvious trait of a good parent, but it’s the ‘unconditional’ part that really sets great parents apart.

Unconditional love doesn’t mean ignoring mistakes or poor behavior.

It means loving your child regardless of their actions and understanding that your child is learning and growing. Your children are bound to make mistakes along the way.

As a great parent, it’s your job to guide them, to correct them when they’re wrong, but always in a way that reassures them of your love.

According to research, when children feel secure in their parents’ love, they develop a strong sense of self-worth and are more likely to become confident, resilient adults.

Even on tough days, make sure your child knows that your love for them is unwavering.

5) Setting boundaries

While unconditional love is essential, it doesn’t mean that children should be allowed to do whatever they want.

Establishing boundaries is an important part of being a great parent.

Boundaries provide a sense of security for children.

They define what’s acceptable behavior and what’s not, helping children understand their limits and teaching them respect for others.

Setting boundaries also helps children learn self-discipline. They learn that their actions have consequences, which is a valuable lesson for life.

However, boundaries should always be reasonable and explained clearly.

The goal is not to restrict your child but to guide them towards responsible behavior.

6) Being their biggest cheerleader

Every child, no matter their age, needs someone who believes in them wholeheartedly. That’s where you come in.

Being a great parent means being your child’s biggest cheerleader.

You need to encourage their dreams, celebrate their achievements, and stand by them even when they stumble.

I don’t mean you need to push them to be the best, just help them believe that they can be their best.

Instill in them the confidence to try, the resilience to keep going, and the belief that they are capable of greatness.

There’s a beautiful quote by Elizabeth Stone that says, “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

As a parent, your heart does indeed walk outside your body – in the form of your child.

So cheer for that heart, encourage it, and love it unconditionally.

7) Admitting when you’re wrong

Nobody’s perfect, and that includes parents.

There was a time when I insisted to my son that his science project was incorrect.

I was convinced that I was right, only to realize later that I had misunderstood the concept.

It’s natural to make mistakes. But as a parent, it’s important to admit when you’re wrong.

It can be tough to swallow your pride and apologize to your child, but it’s an important lesson in humility and integrity.

By admitting your mistakes, you’re showing your child that it’s okay to be wrong sometimes. It teaches them the value of honesty, and how important it is to take responsibility for our actions.

We all strive to be role models for our children, and part of that involves showing them that we too are human, we too make mistakes, and when we do, we own up to them.

8) Showing respect

Respect is a two-way street. If we want our children to respect us, we need to respect them first.

Great parents understand that their child, no matter how young, is an individual with their own thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

They listen to their child’s ideas, value their emotions, and consider their preferences.

They refrain from belittling or dismissing their child’s feelings. Instead, they validate these feelings and help their child navigate through them.

By showing respect to your child, you’re teaching them how to respect others.

You’re fostering a sense of empathy in them that will serve them well in life.

9) Providing a safe space

At the heart of it all, your child needs to know that they can always come to you, no matter what.

Great parents create an environment where their child feels safe – physically, emotionally, and mentally.

A haven where they can express their deepest fears, greatest joys, or silliest thoughts without fear of judgment or rejection.

This safe space means being approachable and available. Ensure that your child knows they can rely on you for support and guidance, come what may.

Creating this safe space for your child is perhaps the most profound way you can influence their lives.

Because when your child feels safe and loved, they can truly thrive.

Final thoughts

Parenting isn’t a quest for perfection. It’s those perfectly imperfect moments that matter most.

The times you laugh instead of cry, or choose patience over frustration. I’ve come to realize that love, respect, and a little chaos are what truly shape our kids.

There’s a quote I really like: “There are no perfect parents, and there are no perfect children, but there are plenty of perfect moments along the way.”

And those moments? They build something far more meaningful than any version of perfection ever could.

Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect—they just need you to be real, growing and learning right there with them.

Picture of Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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