8 tiny habits that make people lose respect for you almost instantly

We all want to be respected, right?

I mean, it’s a basic human need – to feel valued and admired by the people around us. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we do these little things that chip away at that respect. It’s not always obvious or intentional, but it happens.

You might be thinking, “No way, not me! I’m a good person and I try my best to be considerate.” And I believe you. But even the most well-intentioned among us can fall into these habits.

The thing is, they’re so small and seemingly insignificant that we often brush them off. It’s like a tiny leak in a dam – you may not notice it at first, but over time it can cause some serious damage.

That’s why I want to shine a light on these habits. Not to make you feel bad or guilty, but to help you understand what could be holding you back from the respect you deserve.

Here are the 8 tiny habits that make people lose respect for you almost instantly.

1. Consistently showing up late

Now, we’ve all been there. You’re rushing around, trying to get everything done and before you know it, you’re running late. It happens. But when it becomes a habit, it can really start to tarnish the respect people have for you.

Think about it. When you’re consistently late, it sends a message that your time is more valuable than others’. It’s like saying, “My schedule is more important than yours.” And that’s not a message that earns respect.

It might seem like a tiny thing, but punctuality speaks volumes about your character. It shows that you’re considerate, reliable, and that you honor your commitments.

2. Not listening attentively

Here’s a confession: I used to be a terrible listener. I mean, I was the kind of person who’d nod and smile, all while mentally preparing my next witty comeback or insightful comment. It wasn’t until a good friend called me out on it that I realized how disrespectful it was.

Listening is more than just being quiet while someone else talks. It’s about showing genuine interest in what they’re saying, asking questions, and giving them your full attention. When you’re constantly distracted or thinking about your response, you aren’t really listening.

And people notice that. They notice when you’re not fully present, when you’re just waiting for your turn to speak. It makes them feel unimportant, like their words don’t matter.

I’ve learned that the hard way. Now, I make a conscious effort to really listen when someone is talking to me. Not just to respond, but to understand.

3. Talking more than listening

There’s a famous quote by Epictetus, an ancient Greek philosopher, that goes, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

It’s a simple statement, but it holds so much truth. We often get so caught up in voicing our own thoughts and opinions that we forget to actually listen to what others have to say. I mean, have you ever been in a conversation with someone who just talks and talks, barely giving you a chance to get a word in?

It’s frustrating, right? It can make you feel like you’re not being valued or respected. And that’s exactly how people feel when you talk more than you listen.

The thing is, listening is an act of respect. It shows the other person that you value their thoughts and opinions. It shows that you’re willing to learn from them.

4. Constantly checking your phone

Did you know that the average person checks their phone 58 times a day? That’s almost once every 20 minutes! And while our smartphones can be incredibly useful tools, they can also be a major source of distraction and disrespect.

Imagine you’re having lunch with a friend and they’re constantly glancing at their phone, responding to texts and scrolling through social media. It can make you feel like you’re not important, like their phone is more interesting than your company.

And it’s not just about how it makes the other person feel. Research shows that even having your phone visible during a conversation can reduce empathy and connection.

The bottom line is, when you’re with someone, be with them.

Put your phone away and give them your full attention. It’s a simple act that can have a huge impact on how much respect you command from others.

5. Interrupting others

We’ve all been there. You’re in a conversation, and you’re so excited to share your thoughts that you can’t wait for the other person to finish speaking. But here’s the thing: Interrupting someone mid-sentence is a clear sign of disrespect.

When you interrupt, it’s as if you’re saying, “What I have to say is more important than what you’re saying.” It can make the other person feel unheard and unimportant. And that’s not a great way to earn respect.

Instead, try practicing patience. Let others finish their thoughts before you jump in with yours. Not only will this show respect for their ideas, but it will also make your conversations more meaningful and productive.

6. Being overly defensive

Now, it’s only natural to want to defend yourself when you feel attacked or misunderstood. But being overly defensive, especially over small things, can quickly make people lose respect for you.

Why? Because it often comes across as if you’re not open to feedback or constructive criticism. It can make you seem insecure or lacking in self-awareness.

Let’s say a colleague gently points out a mistake in your report. Instead of acknowledging it and thanking them for their input, you get defensive and start making excuses. This kind of reaction can make people hesitant to engage with you in the future.

Adopting a more open and accepting attitude towards feedback can significantly improve how others perceive and respect you. It shows maturity, confidence, and a willingness to learn and grow.

7. Making excuses

This one ties back to that punctuality point we talked about earlier. You see, being late is one thing, but then making excuses for it? That can really damage the respect others have for you.

Excuses are easy. They’re a way of shifting the blame, of avoiding responsibility. But they’re also incredibly transparent. Most people can see right through them.

Let’s say you’re late for a meeting and you blame it on traffic. Sure, traffic can be unpredictable, but ultimately, it’s your responsibility to leave early enough to account for it.

Excuses not only show a lack of responsibility but also a lack of integrity. And both of these are key to earning and maintaining respect.

Instead, own up to your mistakes. Apologize sincerely when necessary and make a conscious effort to do better next time.

People will respect you more for your honesty and integrity than they ever will for your excuses.

8. Not keeping your word

Here’s the deal – if you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you make a promise, keep it. It sounds simple, right? Yet, it’s surprising how often this basic principle is overlooked.

Your word is your bond. When you don’t follow through on your commitments, it makes people question your reliability and integrity. And once those are in question, respect quickly follows suit.

Perhaps you’ve committed to a project at work, but you constantly miss deadlines or deliver subpar work. Or maybe you’ve promised a friend you’d help them move, but you bail at the last minute. These actions chip away at the respect others have for you.

Keeping your word is about more than just fulfilling obligations. It’s about showing respect for others and their time. It’s about proving that you’re dependable and trustworthy.

In the end, the key to gaining and maintaining respect is pretty simple – treat others with kindness, be reliable, and show integrity in all that you do.

Do these things consistently, and you’ll find that respect comes naturally.

Picture of Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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