7 phrases unconfident people often use in conversations (without realizing it)

There’s a fine line between sounding unsure and being unconfident.

The difference lies in self-awareness. Often, you might use certain phrases without even realizing you’re undermining your own credibility.

Speaking with confidence isn’t about being the loudest in the room; it’s about expressing your thoughts and ideas in a way that makes others take notice.

You might unknowingly use certain phrases that reflect insecurity. Many of us might be using these phrases without even realizing it.

Let’s dive into seven of these phrases that can reveal a lack of confidence, even when you don’t mean to show it.

1) “I’m not sure, but…”

No one knows everything. There’s no shame in admitting that you’re unsure about something.

However, prefacing statements with “I’m not sure, but…” can inadvertently send the message of uncertainty and lack of confidence.

This phrase is often used as a safeguard, a way to soften the blow if the information turns out to be incorrect.

But what it really does is undermine your credibility before you’ve even made your point.

When it comes to expressing ideas or providing information, confidence is key.

If you’re uncertain, take a moment to fact-check or ask for clarification before speaking up.

Remember, it’s okay to not have all the answers. But it’s not okay to let your fear of being wrong overshadow your ability to confidently communicate your thoughts and ideas.

Avoiding this phrase can help you sound more confident, even when you’re venturing into unknown territory.

2) “I guess…”

“I guess” is another phrase that can unintentionally signal a lack of confidence. It suggests uncertainty and makes your statement sound more like a question rather than a firm belief or opinion.

Have you ever found yourself in a group discussion and prefaced your opinion with “I guess”?

It might seem harmless, but it could affect how others perceive your ideas. It can make it seem like you’re seeking approval rather than presenting your own views.

Try replacing “I guess” with a more assertive phrase like “I believe” or “My suggestion would be.”

This small change can make a big difference in how your ideas are received.

It’s all about expressing your thoughts with conviction and not diluting them with words that reflect uncertainty.

3) “Just”

The word “just” might be small, but it can pack a significant punch when it comes to undermining your confidence.

It’s often used as a filler word or to soften a statement, but in reality, it can make you sound apologetic or defensive about your opinions or ideas.

Research suggest that overusing “just” can contribute to the perception of being less confident.

Whether you’re making a request, sharing an idea, or stating a fact, remember that there’s no need to minimize your message.

Stand behind your words, and let them speak for themselves.

The next time you find yourself about to say “just,” take a pause and consider whether it adds value to your statement or detracts from your confidence.

4) “Does that make sense?”

This phrase might seem harmless, a simple check-in to ensure understanding. However, “Does that make sense?” can imply a lack of confidence in your own ability to communicate clearly.

It suggests that you believe you might not have made your point well enough.

Instead of using this phrase, try asking for feedback in a more assertive way.

Phrases like “What are your thoughts?” or “Do you have any questions?” invite dialogue without undermining your own confidence in your communication skills.

Remember, conversation is a two-way street. Don’t assume the responsibility for all understanding lies with you. Asking for input or questions allows for clarification without doubting your own clarity.

5) “I’m no expert…”

Declaring “I’m no expert” right before sharing your thoughts or ideas can instantly undermine your credibility.

It almost gives your listener a reason to dismiss what you’re going to say next.

Do you often preface your ideas with “I’m no expert”? This habit might be holding you back. Instead, present your ideas without disclaimers.

If someone has a different perspective or more knowledge, that’s okay. It’s an opportunity for learning, not a reflection of your incompetence.

Phrases like “I believe” or “From my understanding” are good replacements for the self-undermining “I’m no expert.”

6) “Sorry, but…”

Apologizing when it’s necessary is a strength, but constantly saying “sorry” when there’s no need for an apology can reflect a lack of confidence.

Starting your sentences with “Sorry, but…” can make you appear as though you’re infringing on others or your opinions aren’t valuable.

Unnecessary apologies can diminish the importance of your statements and make it seem like you’re always at fault.

Be aware of when an apology is genuinely needed and when it’s “just” a filler or a preface to your own thoughts.

Instead, you can use phrases like “I’d like to add…” or “Another perspective could be…” this allows you to contribute to the conversation without feeling the need to apologize for your thoughts.

7) “I think…”

“I think” is a phrase we use almost unconsciously, but it can subtly undermine your confidence. It’s often a hedge, a way of not fully committing to the statement that follows.

While there’s nothing wrong with thinking, overusing this phrase can make you sound unsure or tentative.

Be mindful of when and how you use “I think.” If it’s an opinion, it’s fine.

But if it’s a fact, or something you’re confident about, it’s better to say it directly.

Your words reflect your confidence. Choose them wisely.

Final thoughts: It’s all about self-awareness

The nuances of our conversations are more than “just” idle chatter. They’re a reflection of our inner state, our confidence, and how we perceive ourselves.

If you catch yourself using these phrases, don’t worry—you’re not alone.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward growing your confidence.

The key here is self-awareness. By being mindful of your language, you can start to eliminate these confidence-undermining phrases from your conversations.

It’s not about pretending to be someone else or suppressing your true feelings. It’s about expressing yourself effectively and confidently, without unintentionally undermining your own credibility.

So the next time you’re in a conversation, pay attention to your words.

You might be surprised by what they reveal about your confidence. And remember, change starts with awareness.

Picture of Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang

Mia Zhang blends Eastern and Western perspectives in her approach to self-improvement. Her writing explores the intersection of cultural identity and personal growth. Mia encourages readers to embrace their unique backgrounds as a source of strength and inspiration in their life journeys.

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