People who grew up with very little validation tend to develop these traits later in life, says psychology

Let’s get real here, growing up isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.

For some of us, it was more like a stormy weather, especially when validation and acknowledgment were as scarce as hen’s teeth.

Trying to convince ourselves that everything was fine, we soldiered on only to realize later in life that our past left imprints on our present.

It’s not an easy pill to swallow, I know.

But hey, psychology has something to say about this – about how growing up with very little validation can shape us in ways we might not even realize.

Let’s dive into this together and explore the traits that tend to develop later in life due to a lack of validation during our formative years. No sugar coating, no beating around the bush – just the raw truth.

Stay with me here, because this might just be the most enlightening thing you read today.

1) High sensitivity to criticism

Growing up without much validation can be a rough ride, let me tell you.

It’s like constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for that one wrong step to shatter your self-esteem.

And this, my friends, often results in a heightened sensitivity to criticism later in life.

We’re not talking about constructive feedback here. No, we’re referring to a deep-seated fear of any form of critique, no matter how well-intentioned it might be.

That’s because, in the absence of validation during our early years, criticism feels like a direct attack on our worth.

So we build walls around ourselves, deflecting any form of negative feedback, fearing it might crumble our fragile self-esteem.

It’s a tough trait to live with, I know. But understanding its roots is the first step towards overcoming it.

2) Constant need for reassurance

You know what else crops up when they skimped on the validation during those impressionable years? An endless need for reassurance.

I can tell you from personal experience, it’s like being on a rollercoaster ride that never stops.

One moment I’m on top of the world, feeling confident and capable, and the next moment, I’m spiraling down into a pit of self-doubt, questioning my worth and abilities.

I found myself constantly seeking reassurance from others, just to keep my self-esteem afloat.

It was as if their validation was the only life jacket I had in a sea of self-doubt and uncertainty.

It wasn’t until much later that I realized this constant need for reassurance was a trait linked to my lack of validation growing up.

And let me tell you, it’s a tough row to hoe. But understanding this need for what it is, is a crucial step towards breaking free from its grasp.

3) Struggling with authenticity

You know, Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

But let me tell you, growing up without enough validation can make this seemingly simple advice feel like a herculean task.

When we aren’t affirmed or encouraged in our individuality as kids, we often find ourselves struggling to be authentic adults.

It’s like being an actor on a never-ending stage, constantly shifting roles based on who we’re interacting with, just to avoid any potential criticism or rejection.

We become chameleons, changing colors not for survival, but for acceptance.

I mean, why risk showing our true colors when the past has taught us that it only leads to criticism or indifference?

But Wilde was onto something.

Living authentically might be a struggle for those of us who grew up with little validation, but it’s a battle worth fighting.

Because being ourselves, in all our flawed and unique glory, is the only way to truly live.

4) Overachiever syndrome

Alright, let’s talk about something you might not see coming – overachieving.

Those of us who didn’t receive enough validation growing up often become overachievers in our adult lives.

Sounds counterintuitive, doesn’t it?

But here’s the thing – when we don’t receive enough validation, we learn to associate achievement with self-worth. We start believing that our value lies in our accomplishments.

We run ourselves ragged, chasing after success and perfection, believing that each achievement will finally fill that validation void.

It’s like being on a treadmill that never stops, always aiming for the next big thing without ever feeling truly fulfilled.

But here’s what we need to understand – our worth is inherent, not conditional on achievements.

And realizing this is a crucial step towards breaking free from the overachiever syndrome.

5) Difficulty expressing emotions

Let’s talk about something close to the chest – expressing emotions.

Growing up with little validation often means growing up with little space for our emotions.

We learn early on that showing our true feelings might not be well received, or worse, might be completely ignored.

So we become experts at bottling up our emotions, at putting on a brave face even when the world is crumbling around us.

It’s like living in a fortress, safe but isolated, unable to let anyone in for fear of being hurt or rejected.

But here’s the kicker – the only way to truly connect with others is by being vulnerable, by letting our emotions show.

It’s not easy, I know. But understanding this difficulty and working through it is a crucial step towards living a more fulfilled life.

6) Low self-esteem

Let’s dive deeper into something that’s been lingering in the background of our conversation – low self-esteem.

It’s a common thread among those of us who didn’t get enough validation growing up.

Think about it. When our achievements, emotions, and individuality aren’t acknowledged, it’s easy to start believing that we aren’t good enough.

It’s like living under a cloud of self-doubt, constantly questioning our worth and abilities.

We might even find ourselves settling for less than we deserve in relationships and careers, just because we don’t believe we’re worth more.

But here’s the good news – self-esteem isn’t set in stone. It can be built and nurtured over time, starting with acknowledging our inherent worth.

7) Fear of rejection

Let’s tackle a huge elephant in the room – fear of rejection.

When we grow up without sufficient validation, rejection becomes our worst nightmare.

We start viewing every ‘no’ as a personal failure, a confirmation of our deepest fears – that we aren’t good enough, that we aren’t worthy.

It’s like living in a constant state of alert, always on edge, fearing that any misstep could lead to rejection.

And this fear can hold us back in so many ways – from pursuing our dreams to forming meaningful relationships.

But here’s the thing – rejection is a part of life. It doesn’t define our worth or our abilities.

Understanding this can help us face our fear of rejection and move forward with more confidence and resilience.

8) Difficulty in forming healthy relationships

Alright, let’s get into something that impacts every aspect of our lives – relationships.

Growing up with little validation can make forming healthy relationships a daunting task.

We might find ourselves either clinging too tightly for fear of being abandoned or maintaining a safe distance to avoid getting hurt.

It’s like walking a tightrope, constantly trying to find the right balance between getting too close and staying too far.

We might even find ourselves attracted to toxic relationships, mistaking the lack of validation there for familiarity.

But here’s the breakthrough – understanding this difficulty can help us create healthier patterns in our relationships.

It’s about recognizing our worth and knowing that we deserve to be loved and validated just as we are.

And with this understanding, we can start to form healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Final thoughts

If you’ve been nodding along to these points, it’s clear that you’ve experienced the impact of growing up with little validation.

But here’s the silver lining – this doesn’t have to define your future.

Awareness is the first step towards change. Recognizing these traits in yourself is a sign that you’re ready to embark on a journey of transformation.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Change takes time and patience.

Each small step towards acknowledging your worth and expressing your true self is a victory worth celebrating.

Remember, your past shaped you, but it doesn’t have to limit you.

With courage and self-love, you can break free from the chains of your past and create a life filled with authenticity, confidence, and fulfillment.

Take this journey one day at a time. You’re not alone, and more importantly, you’re stronger than you think.

Picture of Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling

Ethan Sterling has a background in entrepreneurship, having started and managed several small businesses. His journey through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship provides him with practical insights into personal resilience, strategic thinking, and the value of persistence. Ethan’s articles offer real-world advice for those looking to grow personally and professionally.

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

Couples who are deeply in love but rarely show affection towards each other typically display these 8 traits

Couples who are deeply in love but rarely show affection towards each other typically display these 8 traits

The Blog Herald

Men who stay lean without going to the gym usually display these 7 simple habits

Men who stay lean without going to the gym usually display these 7 simple habits

NewsReports

7 signs someone is deeply attracted to you but trying their best to play it cool

7 signs someone is deeply attracted to you but trying their best to play it cool

The Blog Herald

Women who feel they’ve wasted their best years usually display these 9 regrets, according to psychology

Women who feel they’ve wasted their best years usually display these 9 regrets, according to psychology

Global English Editing

8 subtle ways you’re making your day more stressful without realizing it, according to psychology

8 subtle ways you’re making your day more stressful without realizing it, according to psychology

Global English Editing

9 types of people you need to distance yourself from (if you want to move forward in life)

9 types of people you need to distance yourself from (if you want to move forward in life)

Global English Editing

Subscribe to receive our latest articles!

Get updates on the latest posts and more from Small Business Bonfire straight to your inbox.