Some people seem to get better with age—wiser, kinder, and easier to be around. But others? Not so much. It’s like they unknowingly pick up habits that push people away, making relationships harder than they need to be.
The tricky part is that most of them don’t even realize it’s happening. Little by little, certain behaviors creep in, and before they know it, they’ve become the person others avoid rather than enjoy.
The good news? These habits aren’t set in stone. By recognizing them early, we can make sure we’re not accidentally becoming more difficult to be around as we get older. Here are eight common behaviors to watch out for.
1) They complain about everything
Nobody likes a constant complainer. But as some people age, they start focusing more on what’s wrong rather than what’s right.
At first, it might just be venting about small frustrations—a slow cashier, bad weather, or how things “aren’t like they used to be.” But over time, negativity can become a habit, draining the energy of everyone around them.
The problem is, they usually don’t see it. They think they’re just “telling it like it is,” not realizing how exhausting it is for others to constantly hear complaints.
That doesn’t mean we should ignore real issues, but balance is key. If every conversation becomes a list of grievances, people will eventually tune out—or worse, avoid you altogether.
2) They always have to be right
I used to know someone who could never admit they were wrong—about anything.
No matter how small the issue, they would argue their point endlessly, twisting the conversation until everyone else just gave up.
At first, I thought it was just confidence. But over time, I realized it wasn’t about being right—it was about never being wrong.
And honestly? It made them exhausting to be around. Conversations stopped feeling like discussions and started feeling like battles.
The truth is, nobody enjoys spending time with someone who always needs to win. It shuts down real connection and makes others feel unheard. A little humility goes a long way in keeping relationships strong as we age.
3) They talk more than they listen
As people get older, some develop a habit of dominating conversations. They share their thoughts, their opinions, their stories—often without realizing that they’re not leaving much room for others to speak.
Studies have shown that the average person spends about 60% of conversations talking about themselves. That number jumps even higher when communicating online.
While it’s natural to enjoy sharing personal experiences, too much of it can make others feel unheard and unimportant.
Listening isn’t just about being polite—it’s how we build meaningful connections. The best conversations aren’t one-sided; they’re a balance of speaking and genuinely paying attention to what others have to say.
4) They resist change, no matter what
Change is inevitable, but some people fight it at every turn.
Whether it’s new technology, different ways of thinking, or even just a change in plans, they dig their heels in and refuse to adapt.
This resistance often comes from a place of comfort—sticking to what’s familiar feels safe. But over time, it can make them seem stubborn, out of touch, or even difficult to work with.
The irony is that the most successful and well-liked people aren’t the ones who cling to the past; they’re the ones who stay open, curious, and willing to grow.
Adaptability keeps relationships strong and makes life a lot easier for everyone involved.
5) They stop showing appreciation
Everyone wants to feel valued. But as people age, some forget the importance of expressing gratitude—to their friends, their family, and even the strangers who make their day a little easier.
It’s not that they mean to be ungrateful. They might assume others already know how much they care, or they might get too caught up in their own thoughts to say a simple “thank you.”
But over time, the absence of appreciation can make others feel overlooked and unimportant.
A kind word, a small acknowledgment, or even just recognizing someone’s effort can go a long way. No one ever outgrows the need to feel appreciated, and the people who remember this tend to have the strongest, most meaningful relationships.
6) They hold onto grudges
Holding onto resentment feels like control—like a way to protect yourself from being hurt again. But in reality, it does more damage than the original offense ever could.
At first, it seems justified. Someone let you down, said the wrong thing, or didn’t show up when they should have. But as time passes, the bitterness doesn’t fade; it grows.
And without realizing it, that grudge starts to shape how you see people, how you trust, and how open you are to connection.
Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior—it’s about freeing yourself from the weight of carrying it.
The people who learn to let go tend to live lighter, happier lives, while those who don’t often find themselves more alone than they ever intended to be.
7) They make everything about them
Conversations should be a two-way street, but some people gradually turn them into a one-person show. No matter the topic, they find a way to bring it back to their own experiences, struggles, or opinions.
At first, it might just seem like enthusiasm or a desire to relate. But over time, it becomes clear—they’re not really engaging, they’re just waiting for their turn to speak. And that can make others feel invisible.
Relationships thrive on mutual interest and understanding. The people who stay easy to be around are the ones who know when to talk and when to genuinely listen—not just wait for the next opportunity to shift the focus back to themselves.
8) They stop making an effort
Relationships don’t stay strong by accident—they take effort. But some people, as they age, slowly stop trying.
They assume the people in their life will always be there, even if they don’t reach out, show interest, or put in the same energy they once did.
They cancel plans, stop checking in, and expect others to do the work of maintaining the connection.
Over time, those relationships fade—not because of a big falling out, but because neglect quietly eroded them.
The truth is, no one wants to feel like an afterthought. The friendships and connections that last are the ones where both people continue to show up, no matter how much time passes.
Bottom line: Small shifts make a big difference
Human relationships are delicate, shaped by daily interactions, habits, and the way we make others feel. And while aging brings wisdom and experience, it can also bring unnoticed patterns that push people away.
Psychologist John Gottman, known for his research on relationships, found that small, everyday behaviors—like showing appreciation or listening with intent—play a far greater role in maintaining connections than grand gestures ever could.
The same applies to the habits that strain relationships; they rarely appear overnight but accumulate over time.
The good news? Awareness makes change possible.
The people who stay easy to be around as they age aren’t perfect—they just pay attention. They notice when they’re shutting others out, when they’re clinging too tightly to old ways, or when they’ve stopped making an effort.
And most importantly, they adjust.
Because in the end, the strongest connections don’t just happen—they’re nurtured.
