When my kids were young, I knew their every thought. If they laughed, it was pure joy. If they cried, something hurt. Parenting was simple in that way.
But as they grew older, I feared things would change. That our close bond might stretch thin as they sought independence.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
In fact, our relationship has only deepened with time. In the following article, I’ll share the unexpected ways we’ve managed to stay as close as ever.
Some parents might find this easier than others, and that’s okay. Perhaps it’s because we share certain traits or practice specific habits.
But let me assure you – it’s possible for everyone.
1) Understanding their evolving needs
Parenting is a constant learning journey.
As my kids grew, their needs and interests evolved, often at a dizzying pace. One moment they were into dinosaurs, the next it was all about skateboards.
And let’s not even start on the emotional rollercoaster of the teenage years.
But it wasn’t just their interests that changed. Their emotional needs shifted too. They needed less of my guidance and more of my understanding.
I realized I had to grow and adapt with them.
Instead of holding onto the past, I learned to appreciate their present.
I listened more, spoke less. I became interested in what they were interested in and made a conscious effort to understand their world.
By doing this, I not only stayed relevant in their lives but also created a safe space for them to express their emotions freely.
This, in turn, deepened our bond significantly and helped us remain close even as they ventured further into independence.
2) Sharing my own growth journey
I’ve always believed in leading by example. When my eldest son started showing a keen interest in photography, I saw an opportunity for us to connect on a new level.
I had dabbled in photography in my younger days but had put it aside due to work and family commitments.
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But when I saw his enthusiasm, I decided to dust off my old camera and join him.
He was thrilled.
We spent countless hours exploring different techniques, discussing compositions, and even went on photography trips together.
This shared hobby not only brought us closer but also provided a platform for open conversations about life, dreams, and even fears.
Through these shared experiences, he realized that even as an adult, I was still learning and growing just like him.
This mutual understanding fostered a deep respect and connection between us, proving that age is not a barrier to maintaining a close relationship with your kids.
3) Embracing the digital age
Connecting with your kids isn’t just about understanding their world, it’s also about being a part of it.
Nowadays, that world is increasingly digital.
From social media to video games, the online realm plays a significant role in their lives and can often be a source of disconnect between parents and children.
But rather than resist it, I chose to embrace it.
Did you know that playing video games with your kids can lead to better connections?
Parents who play video games with their children are more likely to perceive positive family functioning.
I started gaming with my kids. It was a steep learning curve, but the shared laughter and light-hearted competition made it worth it.
Not only did we have fun, but it also allowed me to understand their online experiences and engage them in conversations on digital responsibility.
Through this, we created new memories and strengthened our bond, proving that shared experiences are key in maintaining close relationships, no matter the platform.
4) Creating traditions together
Traditions have a unique way of binding people together. They create a sense of belonging and continuity that can strengthen relationships.
With my kids, I made a conscious effort to create traditions that would bring us together.
Simple things like family game nights, weekend hikes, or even cooking our favorite meal together every Sunday.
These shared experiences gave us something to look forward to and served as constant reminders of our strong family bond.
And the beauty of it is, these traditions evolved with us, reflecting the changes in our lives and interests.
Creating these traditions helped ensure that no matter how much they grew or how busy our lives got, we always had these special moments that kept us connected and brought us closer as a family.
5) Being their safe haven
As my kids grew older, they started facing more complex problems and challenges.
School pressure, friendship issues, relationship dramas – the list goes on.
During these times, I realized the importance of being their safe haven. I made sure they knew they could always come to me with their problems, no matter how big or small.
I listened without judgment, offered advice when asked, and sometimes, just provided a comforting presence.
I reassured them that it’s okay to feel upset or confused and that these feelings are part of growing up.
By doing this, I became their go-to person in times of trouble. This showed them that even as they grow older and more independent, they can always rely on me.
This trust and reliance have been key in keeping us close through the years.
6) Letting them make mistakes
It’s a natural instinct for parents to want to protect their kids from harm or distress.
But as my kids grew older, I realized that one of the best ways to stay close to them was, surprisingly, by stepping back.
I allowed them the freedom to make their own decisions, and yes, their own mistakes.
As hard as it was to watch them stumble, I knew it was an essential part of their growth journey.
By letting them face the consequences of their actions, they learned valuable lessons about taking responsibility.
More importantly, they understood that I trusted them and respected their autonomy.
This approach not only nurtured their self-confidence but also reinforced our closeness as they saw me not just as a parent, but also as a supporter of their independence.
7) Continual open communication
Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, and parenting is no exception.
As my kids grew older, our conversations became more complex and meaningful.
We discussed everything from their dreams and aspirations to their fears and insecurities.
But open communication isn’t just about talking. It’s also about listening.
I made sure to actively listen to what they were saying, showing genuine interest and understanding.
I also encouraged them to express their feelings openly and honestly, even when it was difficult.
By fostering this open line of communication, we built a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.
This not only helped us navigate the challenges of growing up but also ensured that our bond remained strong as ever.
8) Unconditional love and acceptance
At the end of the day, the most powerful factor in maintaining a close relationship with my kids as they’ve grown older is unconditional love and acceptance.
I’ve always made it clear to them that my love isn’t contingent on their achievements or behavior, but rather that it’s constant and unwavering.
I accept them for who they are, including their flaws and mistakes.
This unconditional love and acceptance have created a safe and nurturing environment for them to grow into their own.
Knowing they have this steadfast support has only brought us closer, creating a bond that time and age cannot erode.
Embracing the journey of growth together
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re a parent like me, navigating the beautiful complexity of raising children.
Remember, as our children grow and evolve, so too should our relationship with them. The dynamics might change, but the bond doesn’t have to weaken.
In fact, it can become even stronger.
There’s a quote by Elizabeth Stone that resonates deeply with this journey: “Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
Our kids will always be a part of us, no matter how old they get or how far they go.
It’s about walking alongside them, respecting their journey, and cherishing the evolving bond that ties us together.
Let’s embrace this journey of growth together.
After all, staying close with our children as they grow older isn’t just about preserving our relationship with them; it’s about celebrating their growth into unique individuals while growing ourselves.
And that’s a journey worth cherishing.